Near DEATH, MOST embarrassing moment, and HOMESicK in one WEEK :)

Hello fellow people :) how are you? Or in my new language 'Sawadica?' :P So I have officially been in Thailand for two weeks! It honestly feels like I have been here two months, it's crazy like being honest if you are ever told outreach is hard, BELIEVE IT! Because we tend to romanticize being a missionary like "ohh I am going to save the whole world, because they need to know about Jesus and I am going to change their lives."
It is amazing to have that vision and fire, but also remember there is still room for personal growth. So I am taking a break from my themes and sharing with you a bit about my long short experience here so far. (plus I am supposed to be the team journalist so 2 birds, one stone) You ready for this?

OKkkkaayy! So last week we started our official ministry in Thailand, we were in a place called Fang and we started off with children's ministry which honestly did not sound like the most exciting thing in the world since we had just done a week of children's ministry in South Africa, but we put on our stick-with-it faces and did the ministry, teaching the children english and stuff. By the second day I realized that the humid weather was affecting my chest and it was getting uneasy to breathe so I rested that day, then that night I couldn't breathe at all. My team had to call an ambulance to get me to hospital
I had an asthma attack. Yup my stupid chest almost gave up on me but I got to the hospital on time and I couldn't move and amazingly the doctors hardly spoke any English which sucked but long story short, I was put under an oxygen mask and an I.V thingy majigy was put into me and after a lot of confusion, the doctors thinking I was having a heart attack and stuff they realized I also had a panic attack, in doctor terms hyperventilation- which by the way- you only see in movies lol now that was not even the end of it.
So while I was in that weird daze I heard my friend Yu-jin telling me about the cute doctors which did not help me because I was thinking about how If I cared about anything besides not dying I probably looked horrible! Plus later while I was lying in the hospital bed I really needed to pee like three different times and since I couldn't move they had to give me what in docter terms is called a 'bedpan' in layman terms its basically a pee bowl, and I will save you the gross details because it makes me cringe just thinking about it but it was not pretty! lol plus quite embarrasing was I was the only black person in the room as well so I wondered if the cute docters thought black people are uncivilized, then I realized that was a stupid train of thought ;)
So the crazy thing is the next day I got another hyperventilation attack at night and the same process was repeated and I had to go back to the hospital... One it was the most pain I had experienced in a super long while! Two if your my facebook friend you saw my status about homesickness, well I think that was the point passed the honey-moon phase where all you want to do is suck your thumb and say "I miss my mummy" but ofcourse because even though you are the youngest on the team everyone else is an adult you have to suck it up and say "Lord Jesus I you better see what am doing and have mansion planned out for me somewhere in my future or else boo me and you are through :P" Jk, you know I love you..
Soo Thursday this week we did another 13 hour bus trip from the north of Thailand to the capital Bangkok, then another 2 and a half hours to a coastal city called Pataya which is where we are now... We started ministry today, working with prostitution and teaching the ladies english which was actually super fun... Plus umm this is random but we have seen a lot of lady-boys (men who become women, very common in Thailand) and to be honest they are beautiful! Literally they make an effort to look gorgeous so you may not even tell the difference, and it would be very easy to judge but being a missionary is about looking for beauty in the ashes, and seeing it even in the brokenness of people!

So right now because we don't have wifi I am at an internet cafe which I have payed for 1hour worth of use so incase my time runs out I will end here, but am hopefully going to resume with the topics thingy majigy next blog post... Hope you enjoyed and I love you <3  

Stereotyping: 46 countrieS in 10 years!

Sooo hello my fellow people! How is your beautiful self? (technically that sentence isn't englishly correct :P NEITHER IS THAT ONE. Anyway guess who is finally in Thailand????? Like seriously I bet you can't guess? lol
So it has been a struggle and a half to get here. I honestly was not 100% sure I was going to be in Thailand until I was on the plane, and honestly Jesus came through in ways I don't even understand but that is a story for another day. Today the story is lightly different. I have honestly been trying to get another angle on stereotyping since before I left South Africa. I was going to write about a girl who heard God tell her to go into missions with her parents on her last year of high school, before exams but I was not able to talk to her in detail in time so hopefully when I go back to s.a I will get the chance to.
So back to my trip, we arrived here Friday at 4 a.m when it was still dark out after almost 3 days of travel by air and by bus. Believe me you I did not know what pregnant feet were until yesterday. We, as a team, were all super tired and had just arrived into the Thailand humid heat that makes your clothes stick to your skin. *to be honest it's better than the cold I left behind in Capetown.* But the point is we finally arrived here (Chiang mai) and found out the house where we are staying is Heaven! :P hahaha okay maybe a little piece of Heaven but after the traveling and pregnant feet it honestly does feel like paradise. and we were all like

It's a huge bungalow with fans and spacious rooms and a spacious kitchen and dinning room. Sadly we are only here until tomorrow but as an introduction to Thailand it is a great way to start :)
Now the man behind it is what this post is about. Basically this place is a hospitality house and Len, the man who owns it just wanted it to be a place of rest and receiving of missionaries to send out into the rest of Thailand. He lives here with his son, Jonah, and a beautiful couple from South Africa who heard God's call to come to Thailand as missionaries. In all their lives you can see their hearts to serve us and hearts that shines Jesus' love so bright it burns. So the last two days have been amazing *but I still have pregnant feet, does anyone know how to get rid of that?*
Anyway back to the point one of the benefits of these two days is that we got to hear their stories and it turns out Len and his son have a kind of extra ordinary one. You see they are originally from South Africa  and even though have now been running this hospitality ministry in Thailand for about a year, they originally left South Africa about eleven years ago!
So what- you may be asking- have they been doing for the ten year gap period in between? They my dear, have been on a pure backpacking evangelizing and tract giving ministry where they traveled to 46 different countries all over Africa, Middle East, Asia, Europe, and the States in 10 years! Now this is how it started according to Len...
Ten years ago as a not too old but not too young man either, Len finally listened and obeyed God's call for him to be out on the mission field after a long time of being stubborn with God. It wasn't easy because God told him to give everything and I mean EVERYTHING away and live out his faith. Jonah, his son, also heard God speak to him, and in his own words with a silly grin he told me, "but I wasn't as stubborn as my dad was ."

 

*they look much more good looking than this* lol.
So they set out, leaving behind family, friends, and possessions behind with only 300 dollars in their bank accounts, no supporters, the backpacks on their backs, and God's call on their lives to trust Him.
-now let's pause for a second, as you read this your probably thinking about how it sounds like a super another sweet story with another lesson about how God will always come through, ending with they lived happily ever after- but *play* this is more than that!
Can you picture yourself and your mum, or your dad, or your child, getting rid of all the plans you had for yourself, to be a doctor, a lawyer, a business person, a doctorate, having quite a few degrees to your name, the security in being able to provide and the simple comforts of life as well... Like seriously? Can you picture yourself giving all that up?!
First of all the scrutiny you will get! Don't you think in this day and age everyone who truly loves you will think your crazy! Like I know if I went to my friends and family and told them on a very serious note that I am leaving next week for a few years, not knowing what or how God will provide they will look at me like I am plain retarded and tell me to wait at least a few years until I get my life together.
But they went for it, and they told me they have a million and one stories of how God proved He was God countless times.
The fact is it was NOT easy, but honestly you should see the light in Len's eyes as he talks about visiting Israel and feeling God, or giving out gospel tracts and seeing people break down because it was God ordained, and seeing Jesus come through in miraculous ways! His words were, "I get so much satisfaction out of it." Basically even though it's not easy, if it's of God it's worth it. And the truth is...

I am not going to be all preachy and stuff but A verse I have come to love is 1 Corinthians 2:6-7. It basically says that our generation is so stupid that we think God's wisdom is stupid. In a way that is also the cool thing about God's Kingdom. It's crazy, upside down, backwards, and again is stereotypical plain stupid to the world but it is a heck of an adventure and if you can handle being stereotyped as a Jesus freak it's most probably worth it. :)

Now I love you all but am sleepy and we are traveling tomorrow again to our outreach location by bus! *oh no stupid pregnant feet* again any advice on that please let me know :P GOODNIGHT :)

Stereotyping, married at 18 :P

Yellow!!!! (that is the language colors for Hello!!!) :P

Sooo I love your responses to the last post, thanks for reading please continue to share, like, and follow or not? But it would be nice if you could. Do I sound like am nagging? I really am not nagging just saying Like a sister's time consuming post once in a while huh?! Lol

Okay so I have the most interesting story to tell you guys about the whole stereotyping thing we talked about last time. As you know I am right now doing a ministry school in Capetown, South Africa in  "Knowing God to make Him known." 

So yesterday I officially finished the first half of the school which is lecture phase (basically you sit in a class and listen to lectures ;) and it has been amazing and a journey but that's a story for another day. On Saturday we will officially be starting the next par of the school which is outreach, where the students will go out into different nations to use what we have learned in the lecture phase to minister on the outreach. One of the awesome things is that we got to hear from the experiences of the students who just finished and came back from their outreaches, and the testimonies we heard were mouth dropping (whoops I mean jaw dropping lol) crazy! Healings and salvations which I am hoping to see on our outreach as well, but again that's a story for another day. What I wanted to share is actually about a couple I met in that team. 

They are both from Norway, the girl is nineteen, the guy is twenty two, and they are married!!! They are actually about to celebrate their one year anniversary! As in when I first heard that I was like whoooaaaa! How cool is that???? I love it because it is so against society's worldview. Like let's be honest here, a 19-actually 18 year old! GETTING MARRIED?? The first thought would be was she pregnant?? Or other stupid conclusons that we come up with and judge people for. Like they are not even mature enough to know if this is the right person or not. Or Christians shouldn't do that * Hello! they came to frikin outreach in Africa from Norway to do ministry because they have such a passion for God!*

Again I know that could probably be more accepted in the culture, but still I absolutely loved them because they are such a sweet couple when I asked Tonje (her name, pronounced Tanya I think) what she thought about marriage she was like, "It's the best thing ever, we are totally enjoying it" then her husband came in and said, "we recommend marriage to everyone." Before he looked at his beautiful wife and gave her a cheeky smile. 

Now I know you may say they are in their first year and in the honeymoon phase which will be over quicker because they got married younger, but think about it. They just dedicated the last six months to having God as their foundation, and that is why I think they are going to last! Because if He is your beginning, middle, and end it always, always, hear me ALWAYS lasts! *I just shared with you the secret to any relationship with yourself, family, friends, and love of your life* :P 

So what was my point again? 

Oh yeah.... Normal is overrated!

Ordinary is boring!

Life sucks when you have to live it by everyone else's do's and dont's 

Do not judge a cover by its book *you know what I mean*

And something Tonje told me was, "God's plan for everyone's story is different."

<3      (I will check with the couple if I can post a pic of them for you guys) 

Steriotyping and South Africa :P

Hello my fellow human being, or in layman language Whazzzuh dude and/or dudette?!
So I know this has been a long time coming and I deserve to be hanged for doing the unthinkable, Being an UNFAITHFUL BLOGGER... From the deepest part of my innermost soul I am truly and utterly sorry. So this post will just be a catch up kind of thing from the last one about my visa. Soo by now maybe you have guessed I am in South Africa woohooo! haha yea for the last like two months, but anyway... It is beautiful here! I am in a small suburb called Muizenberg right on the coast of Cape Town. I am about a five minute walk away from the beach and like ten minutes away from Muizenberg Mountain which is like a one to two hour hike and a smaller version of the famous Table Mountain, and I have climbed it like two and a half times since I have been here (juss saying)  :P
Besides the beauty of the city, before I came I was -i am going to be honest- warned about the people here. I was told, by more than a few people that there are still a few effects from apartheid in South Africa, and that even the black South Africans and colored are kind of -in an understated statement- mean to other black foreigners. So I am about to tell you what I have personally learned from being here. So 1. the course that I am doing right now has people from 14 different nations!! Soo I have gotten the chance to test the theories about not only South Africa but the States, Brazil, Nigeria, The U.K, Australia, Romania, Tanzania, Germany, Switzerland, and others. Let's do a little exercise. In those few countries that I have mentioned can you think of at least one cliche or stereotype that you have come to associate with those people?
Think about it for a moment...

....
Thought about it?
Good, now this is my theory. I think that we are held so much by our own cultural world views that sometimes we are blind to the beauty in other cultures as well. I mean, speaking from personal experience I was in American system and the way they taught us, it honestly felt like America thought they are the greatest gift God gave to Mankind, plus its totally overrated. But now one of the other students here is from the States and he is super sweet and humble its not even funny. Then there is the Nigerian OGA OOOOH! :p From Afro cinema we kind of get this impression that they are the most dramatic people on earth! Would you believe me if I told you now that my Nigerian friend here is one of the most reserved, inner beauty, sweetest people I know. Hihihi I won't even go to my Tanzanian friend who is Indian as well, or the Korean-American, but my point is I came not knowing what to expect with my own culture's views and that has changed by my getting to know people for being just that, people... Another thing is a lot of times we judge a whole nation or people by the one or two people we have met from that country, now it may not be  on a large scale but something small like I meet a guy from Ghana who is very forthright and often comes across as rude. So I go back home with the mentality that all Ghanaians are rude. You see what I mean?
I even met someone from here who has been to Kenya and she stayed with a Kenyan couple where the wife was basically in charge of the home and did all the cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, and stuff like that, and the husband seemed to be just relaxed and waiting for his wife to do stuff for him. So the impression that this lady got was that in Kenya it's like women do all the work and are treated like the servants. Now, of course this shocked me because, HELLO this is my country and in all my years and with all the families and people I know I haven't seen a situation like that as common.  

So I am not saying that our cultural worldviews do not affect who we become, in fact we all have things in common with other people from our own culture but what I am saying is that don't judge a whole people because of one person you know from there. Get to know each person for who they are as a person and cultivate a relationship/friendship with them. Mandela once said something like, the only way to get out of stereotyping is travel. -I think this means something like in order to sop stereotyping get to know the people you are stereotyping. :)
*now i feel like being hippie and saying* PEACE AND LOVE YA'AL, PEACE AND LOVE :)
  
P.s I know this post was really short but if you feel like asking me any questions, or think this was super boring, or if u want me to talk about something in particular, or just feel like saying watsup Lemme know :) love ya'al!!

END

Real-ationships: Visa issues (has nothing to do with relationships but the struggle is real)

Hey all!!!! So 1. this post is more than two weeks late.
2. You have every right to be irked (big word lol) by that.
3. I have a very reasonable explanation.
4. I am going to South Africa in two days and I've been stressed out of my mind about several different things for the last 2 or 3 weeks.
5. You probably don't really care lol.
Any-who so I had promised you one more Real-ationships post before we go on to another topic and I was going to get all deep and holy-joe on you and talk about God and stuff :P but this post is going to be more of a story, a mini-miracle if you will, so read on...
Soo when I applied for my visa to South Africa about three weeks ago they told me it would take about ten days and I should go back for it on the 24th or any time after which was last Monday. So on Tuesday, bright and early in the morning I go into the embassy feeling all psyched about getting my visa and everything and I walk to the counter where the lady is taking customers. I ask her about my visa, and she's like "Oh am sory I didn't tell you before the visa actually takes between 4 and 6 weeks to be processed but we'll try our best to get it done for you by Friday, so come check then."
So am like Oh, okay and walk out of the embassy and I actually wasn't freaking out because she said they would try their best to get it done for me by Friday so maybe my visa would receive kinda special treatment.
Friday comes, and again I go early in the morning so as not to be late and I meet another nicer lady who is like, "sweetie, imagine the visa is, uhh, not yet ready, so I would like you to come back on Tuesday I think it will be ready by then."
In my head am like, "okay seriously, *sigh* can't do anything about it so just relax and come back on Tuesday."
I enjoyed my weekend and everything, telling everyone "oh yea am still leaving next Saturday, -mind you I don't have a visa yet.-"
On Tuesday morning I went back to the embassy, after telling like all my friends, "ya'al pray for this visa please!!! I was feeling like, 'alright today is the day.'
So I go into the embassy and am hoping I will meet the nice lady who called me sweetie but she is with another customer so I end up going to the other lady who looks like she is kind of in a bad mood. She takes one look at me asks, "the study permit?" I nod my head and she's like, "It's not yet ready, we will call you when it is." Then she brushes me off and moves on to the next customer leaving me standing there looking confused like wth just happened??
No come back on Thursday, or it's almost ready, just we will call you when it's ready, I felt like screaming WHAAT??
So now I came home all confused and we decided with my mum we would go back on Thursday (which as today) if they hadn't called by then, just to let them know, ehh by the way, kunavenye I need that visa because my flight is in two days.
So for hte final time we went today to the embassy early in the morning and I was honestly FREAKING OUT! Yani paka I had a dream about the visa last night *you know it's serious when your subconscious gets involved lol* When we reached the gate even the askaris remembered me and were like hujasidiwa bado mrembo? ume kuja mara mingi. (You've not been helped yet? You've come so many times) then before I could reply, "usi jali, leo uta sidiwa" (don't worry to day you will be helped)
So I went in with my mum and we went up to the lady at the counter and before she could talk and tell me to go back home I said, "I know you told me to wait to be called, but I am getting kind of worried because I am leaving on Saturday which is in two days." then ofcourse she was all like "but have you been called?" I replied "no, but..."
"if you haven't been called then your visa is not yet ready.  The minimum amount of time it takes is four weeks and the maximum amount of time is eight weeks. so it can take any amount of time between then."
My mum was like, "so is there anything we can do? at all? Because her ticket is already booked for saturday."
She shook her head and answered, "why did you book a ticket without having the visa? What if it was denied?" -btw fyi one of the visa application requirements is that you must have proof of a booked flight, so what was she talking about?-
Anyway before we could argue with her more, she waved us off to go and sit down while she dealt with the next customer.
So while I was there sitting down the conversation I was having in my head was, "wow, thank you so much Lord for getting me this far and then leaving me hanging because of one stupid piece of paper! Like seriously? yani after telling everyone am leaving on Saturday, then they find me at home on Monday. Jesus really?" then I got all repentant and was like, "okay Lord you know what just do this for me, it will be a miracle but there's still time, come on now, aren't you the one who wanted me to go to S.A in the first place?? Please Jesus. Reward my faith and you'll get the glory.
Soo a different lady calls me and my mum to the counter and is all like, "umm we have looked through your visa application and it was finished being processed this morning but you did not leave a phone number so we had no way of contacting you."
The only thing that was registering, my visa had finished being processed? my visa had finished being processed! I was on #cloudnine
In my head I was like, "hyar Jesus? you actually listened to me? like for reals?? #screammmmmmm hahahaha I know I am such a child but still I was so excited I left with tears in my eyes! So long story shor--a little bit less long :P I HAVE MY VISA! I know it may not be not such a big miracle to you who is reading this, because it's like so what? she got her visa, how does that affect my life in any way. Buuut am doing this because I told God He would get the glory if He did it for me, so fulfilling my end of the bargain. It was honestly my small miracle....

So p.s if you haven't already gathered from this post I am leaving for South Africa on Saturday for a totally new experience, adventure, and learning process... New miracle prayer, that my parents somehow get enough cash to get me a laptop in one day, (tomorrow) because I really need to skype, and blog while am there tihi love ya'al!
P.p.s sory there aren't any pics or videos in this one
xoxox

Real-ationships: Group post *Twilight inspired*

 Heyyyyyyyyyy so a week late but I have been crazy crazy busy! Sooooo last night me and my friend had a twilight night *Definition of a 'Twilight night'* -spending the whole night watching all the twilight movies and crying, laughing, being irritated, and having the girly *aawwwwwww* moments. Because we both have never watched it before lol 

So we had a lot of comments about the relationship between Edward and Bella. Personally, I think it was really sweet *dont judge me, twilight haters* but I also think in reality their total dependency on one another would be maybe kinda, umm, just a little bit, uhh what to say... unhealthy? :P

They literally had no reason for living besides each other. I mean in real life they would have to *with all courtesy* Get a life! But again that doesn't work in their world because they are technically dead hehe. Besides that I liked the whole idea of Edward not taking Bella's virtue untill they were married, in a world where guys are all about how much they can 'tap' a chick or what they can get from her physically or whatever I think that was really cool to portray. :) 

Anyway so right now I am with a group of my girlfriends and they are gonna help me write this post. We are gonna do a post about... actually I don't really know what this post is about because are going to write their own thoughts down, hehe but let us see where this goes... 

REAL-ATIONSHIPS

Tu- In relationships we always try to get a person that we have dreamed of. AKA our Edward Cullen but are we being their Bella Swan????  Because i have been waiting for my forever, but i dont know if i am his yet. Because Bella waited an entire movie for Edward (new moon) and i cant wait for more than five hours for a reply to a text. And the fact that i am comparing myself to a vampire love story....is sad. I want reality, but cant afford it! Because fantasy is so close to my heart.....I have loved before, I have been hurt before, and i have died before...so my aim is to become a newborn, an immortal to love! 

(She is referring to the twilight characters for those who don't get it and haven't watched it, do you live under a rock? *this coming from someone-me- who watched it for the first time yesterday lol*)

Da- I cant count the  number of times I've daydreamed about my prince charming and how I've talked about boys with my friends but one day on my way to school i just thought deep down I've kinda been lying to myself. Cause honestly if my prince charming came riding on a white horse and asked me to be his one and only i'd probably stand awestruck for like a whole 30 min and then RUN!!!!!

  cause honestly i'm terrified... the thought of trusting someone with my heart terrifies me... in the back of my mind I'm thinking " But what if he breaks my heart? what if all this love I'm giving is all for nothing..." Maybe its cause of my past? i mean I've been disappointed a lot by my dad and i try my best not to use that as a crutch cause a lot of kids have gone through that.. but its hard to patch a wound that the only male figure in your life caused... so after this realization i had to find a way of dealing with this feeling and I came to the conclusion that i cant erase the way I feel based on my abilities... so I have chosen to trust God... He designed my "prince charming" just for me.. and I'm sure He knew I'd feel this way even before I would.     

  

Ku- My take on relationships may differ from other people, for me as long as you both love each other and trust each other and God is the foundation of it all you are good to go. One thing that irritates me that many people need to understand, is that a relationship is between two people and not the whole world. If they are happy you should be happy for them. 

Ta- I've been in a couple relationships in the past and learnt a few things from them, for example it's not advisable to rush into a relationship until you've gotten to really know the person.Once you've acquired a friendship with the person, you can then think about being in a relationship with each other. A lot of people who date their best friends mostly tend to have a long healthy relationship because you generally know everything there is to know about each other.

  (tihi) I don't think i'd want to get into another relationship anytime soon until i'm completely sure this is the man God wants me to spend the rest of my life with. In the meantime I'd just want to be really good friends with guys and just get to know them.

Ki- Relationships, haha.. what??... that's the first thing that comes to my mind. Honestly, relationships are work. You have to commit, change your priorities, compromise, be considerate, trust, and well,  most of all love. What I don't like is when people rush into relationships knowing that it won't last. Personally, I'm " forever alone " until I can completely be myself with the person, and until I can love this person fully. Also, I'm not looking for my other "half".. After all, I was not born a half. LOL.. haha. 

To me, until I love myself completely, I can't love another person wholly. My advice to others, love yourself first, don't look for love in others.

I am so proud of these ladies for being honest :D Can ya'al relate?

So one more Real-ationships post coming up next week, then ideas for new topic? inbox, text, comment, follow, and like perrfect imperrfections on facebook... By lovelies, have an amzing -rest of weekend-...

I am in love with this song :P (my friend Natalie showed me, who btw is also a really cool blogger, here is the link to one of her blogs :) http://joywithsarcasm.blogspot.com/2014/03/i-dont-get-people.html

Real-ationships: Gurrl-friends

Happy Sunday ya'al! :)
So this won't be a very long post because again I have school work like crazy to do, also I have exciting news will share at the end of the post ;)
Okay, so I started this theme Real-ationships without really explaining what it's all about. So basically I was going to do the month of Feb as boy-girl issues/drama/blablabla then my friend sent me this inbox on FB

Shingaiii.... soo..im like in my room... no power but i was reading your blogs.. and ommg.. i raff them! Lol.. so..for your next blog.. or the few next to come..or whenever you can do it.. i really would like you to maybe talk about friends... I just want to know your opinion on them.. because lately I've been really struggling with friends. I feel like I cant trust anyone.. Lol And then I left my old school so like I miss my friends there soo much. And i literally fear losing touch with everyone Then there's also fights with friends.. for example me and one friend of mine are not on speaking terms.. and basically I think it all started with mis-communication.. and its shocking how that ruins a friendship... and even though he is just a friend.. anytime someone says something to disappoint you or is just plain right bitchy towards you -excuse my language..- honestly it hurts.. because friends also hurt you and leave scars.. and those scars sometimes lead up to insecurity. Somehow i think it kind of adds up to the insecurities thing.. because without people/friends.. would we really be insecure.. we wont have anyone to compare to.. we wont need to feel judge.. then again with friends.. there the good things.. of some of them being there for you and all.. people to make you laugh.. people to just complete your being.. (boyfriends and all) The world would be so weird if we had no friends/family/people in general
So I edited it for privacy purposes but basically what I want to do by showing you the inbox is make you realize that relationships isn't just about the opposite gender, sometimes we have issues with those closest to us in other areas. I will start -since I am a girl- :P by talking about girl drama, for the guys keep reading, these things could help you in future :P
Okay so sometime last week I was walking somewhere with my friend and on our way home we saw this gorgeous lady! ( as a girl am allowed to say that without having to say 'no homo' right? lol)  So as we see this lady, my friend and I have a really interesting conversation about how sometimes you see people and feel like " why the heck am I even alive?!" hehehe ironic after all my #fightinginsecurities right? Well at least am being honest, but -yes, there's a but- I've been reading this really interesting book and I got a few principles from it. 1. Stop Making Comparisons! When one guy was asked how he knows a girl is insecure, he said he noticed when girls do this this thing of sizing each other up. Why lie ladies, this sadly happens to be true a lot of the time. We have this mindset that we can't add value to another person without subtracting value from ourselves. When we work with that God-given dignity I keep talking about then we need to learn that, "We can totally think another person is beautiful without thinking we are ugly, we can acknowledge another lady as smart without feeling like an idiot, we can admire another's terrific shape without feeling like a slob, and we can say "wow, omg she is soo talented!" without feeling like we have no purpose on earth. So my advice, Let's stop! And I'm talking to myself too. The next line is very serious and read it slowly if you have to!
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! lol
Girls how long will we post selfies with the cleav-age and yadayada to see how many likes we can get to prove to ourselves that we are prettier than 'she' is :) read this with love. To understand your self worth is to not link it to anyone else.
2. We need our Gurrl-friends! So there's been this whole thing about girls saying, "I prefer hanging out with guys because they have less drama." Okay hold up for a sec, I am not going to argue with you. Yes, guys appear to have less issues than we do but have you seen how different we are? Guys have the 'yo bro I hate you.' 'yo, bro I hate you too' moments and then be totally cool (again dudes tell me if I am misrepresenting you :P) but that isn't how, as ladies, we were designed to handle issues. Now look past the drama, think of the friends in your life. Think of the good things that you and your girlfriends have been through the things you have talked about that you can't really tell a guy. Like how you're confused about something in your life, planning for the future-  I bet we've all had those, me and my best friends are gonna live together when we grow up moments- and just stuff like that. Let me be 100% honest I love my guy friends but I need my Gurrl-friends!!! When I think about the future I can't picture them Not baby sitting my kids, and having phone calls about how irritated we are feeling at everything lol and stupid stuff like that. 
3. Know when to let go! Okay so this is hard especially for me, because I think I am kind of a people pleaser, but I am learning. Sometimes, sadly, there are people in our lives who are not beneficial in anyway. Examples of this are the insecure friends who degrade our self worth to feel better about themselves. Or the immature friend who, besides refusing to grow up wants you to stay as immature as them. Or the friend who always makes you do things you would never think of doing when your by yourself. #truthbetold the whole peer pressure lecture we have been given a countless times has some truth to it. Whether we like it or not, the type of friends we have influence who we are, so if who you are around a friend is a world apart from the person you want to become, then you know its time to let go :/ because again you are worth so much more than for you not to become who you want to become because of someone else.
Finally ya'al if we support one another, make this your own personal goal we could be the generation that actually loves each other instead of hating on each other. Idk maybe am being really feminist or whatever lol but that's just how I see it <3

So much for a short post :P If you have read until the end thank you so much and your the best! Comments? feedback, let me know what you think :) and you can follow the blog thanks! Now on to the exciting news, there may be a spoken word event thingy coming up soon under Perrfect Imperrfections... How cool is that?! Yea, so right now it's kinda sketchy but I will let you know the details soon. If you are a writer let me know :) Be blessed ya'al!      Oh P.s love this song...